By Louise Kiely, a Relationship Coach, Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist.
As a social worker, relationship therapist, divorce and break up coach I have worked with hundreds of couples and women either at the end of a relationship or maybe having just gone through a major break up and I am also divorced myself.
Often women who come to me need to process and regulate their feelings and they often feel scared about what the future might look like.
I find that women may doubt themselves and introducing the idea that the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of all is where we start. My work is to help you to process difficult emotions around the reason for the break up, or it could be a significant life event and trying to help you to move forward and plan a pathway to recovery by using techniques such as manifesting, visualisation, mindset work, working on subconscious messaging, hypnotherapy ,therapy and coaching through my 1.1 Butterfly Program Learn to fly.
This is truly about empowering woman no matter if it’s a relationship divorce or break up or childhood trauma or significant loss, it’s about finding who you are again. You may feel a combination of feelings and the amount of emotional and practical tasks that you have to do becomes overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety and you may find it difficult to emotionally regulate your feelings. Perhaps you may be feeling upset at work and unable to concentrate, or you're crying more often and you are wondering why, as well as feeling like you are alone in this process of your break up, trauma and divorce.
One thing I can tell you , you are not alone, I wish I had had the advice of a coach when I was going through a difficult divorce 8 years ago, as I would have known that it was normal to feel the way I did and I wasn’t going mad.
Five things woman experience after a break up:
1. Scared of being alone
Clients tell me that they are scared of doing things alone.If they have been in a long term relationship they have always made decisions together and haven’t ever had to make fundamental life decisions on their own, which can be daunting and scary.
2. Searching for a new identity
Women may have lost their own identity and it takes a while to embrace and rediscover the new you and what that might look like.
3. Anxiety
Women worry about how they will cope and feel anxiety around the future and maybe being a single parent, questions such as, where will I live with my children, as well as navigating co- parenting.
4. Grief/Loss
Even if you wanted the break up or divorce you may still suffer from the feelings of grief and loss whilst you are processing your emotions, as well as other trauma from childhood might resurface.
5. Empowerment
Women can use this new phase of their life to become fully financially independent and step into the new more empowered version of themselves, seeing this as an opportunity in the next season of their life to grow and develop into the new you. Take the opportunity to rediscover who you are and feel more confident and ready to move into this new stage of your life by healing your emotions first.
Now is the time to take inspired action and step into the woman you already are. I am offering women a free 30 minute deep dive emotions coaching call and access to my Facebook group membership, where I will be hosting a free training on ‘How to heal emotional wounds in relationships and move to a place of self love’.
Follow @louisekielycoaching on Instagram for more and connect with her Facebook Group!
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